(initially written 7/27/11)
It was...an interesting night last night. As always, this may not be chronologically correct - the experience was intense and the chronological order these occurred in may have blurred slightly.
He started by by blindfolding me and told me to touch myself as he gathered supplies from the kitchen. I was instantly terrified - my mind instantly went to the tabasco sauce. Did he know? Had he seen me researching? Was it something he had thought about? Could I handle it? To tell the truth, I really hadn't decided WHAT I thought about the tabasco. Had I been stupid? Would I repeat it? But it had me utterly terrified.
The rules were that I couldn't speak unless spoken to and requested to speak.
I broke them immediately; I was utterly terrified and told him so. I hate surprises. I had to know what he was getting together. So he told me, to calm me down. (I was supposed to be nervous, not avidly frightened.)
It was nothing I hadn't expected, and fortunately, tabasco sauce was not on the...itinerary.
Wax. Something large to put inside of me. (What, I couldn't guess.) Rope. A heavier belt to smack me with. Oil.
I was scared, but excited. It was going to be intense. I wanted to feel him hit me, to feel him penetrate me.
I didn't wait long - the slap of the belt on my thigh made me jump. It stung. Badly. The area felt immediately warm. I was made to stand, and rope was used to tie my breasts. I was startled, so startled - I had seen porn with that kind of bondage, but never thought of having my tits bound like that. It hurt! But he seemed to like it, and while I wasn't sure it was something I was interested in, it wasn't something that frightened me or upset me...I was just...apathetic. Although it did make me a little nervous - it made my breasts feel <b>so</b> vulnerable!
Breasts bound, I was told to assume an awkward position on floor. My ass was slapped with his hand, with the belt. Sometimes he changed it up and whipped my belly, my breasts, the soles of my feet. (That really hurts your feet! They immediately feel super warm and throbbing - again, it was something I'd seen in porn, but never thought about doing. It actually really turned me on and I am going to have to think about why later - I can't quite process my feelings on it yet.)
I was rubbed with oil, and though that felt nice, it had me nervous, because I knew what he wanted to do. He likes fisting. It's not really something that's ever turned me on, and it hurts - but it wasn't a limit, and I know it turns him on. He worked on me for a long time, until finally, he was able to fit his large hand inside of me. I remember making such loud sounds - it was so incredibly intense and I remember thinking my voice didn't sound like it could come from me. Ow, ah..and other more primitive sounds. It hurt - he was so deeply inside me. Pulling out - slowly working his hand back in.
When he paused, it wasn't long before I felt the searing hot drops of wax. On my butt, on my anus. Yow! Searing pain, then sensuous warmth. It frightened me, it stung, and it turned me on. I jumped and moaned each time. Inanely, I worried about dropping hot wax onto oiled skin.
Then his hand, again, and as he did, fingers inside my ass. Telling me I was his slut, that I was too loose for him - much too lose - and that he'd be fucking my ass soon. I moaned, I cried out. He started pushing something well lubed inside my asshole; it felt cool. He apologized for the coolness but kept pushing. It felt wide, but not as wide as him. I was so turned on it really didn't hurt at all - he'd done a good job with his fingers and I was ready to be fucked.
When I felt his cock pushing insistently against me, I moaned and then held my breath, trying to let him in. No matter how ready I am there's always that momentary pain when I fight having my ass fucked - when in my head, I can't believe his cock is forcing its way inside my ass. It hurts while I resist and I wonder if that's why I resist - the allure of anal for me is how intense it is. Sex is great. Anal is...infinitely more sensate, more intense. In my head, I'm reduce to gibberish once I stop fighting the invasion and finally resign myself to his cock deep inside me, forcibly stretching my asshole. "There's a cock in my ass, cock in my ass, in my ass..." is about as coherent as it gets, and I can feel how wet I am as clench and unclench my pelvic muscles. It always surprises me when I come during anal - like somehow, in my head I'm sure that I can't come from this sex. And when I do, the sounds that rip out of my throat sound foreign. Are they my voice, or has the television turned on without my notice?
As he spurts inside of me, I'm shuddering, incoherent. He kneads my ass and I wonder if he ever realizes he does that - it's something he always does at the end of his orgasm as long as we're in that position and my butt is in reach of his hands.
As he helps me up, takes the blindfold off and unties the rope, I'm shaking, quivering. I feel sore, I ache, and tiny echos of pleasure are ricocheting inside my body. He hugs me. We decide to shower together to clean up.
And that...should have been the end of the night. But it wasn't, and I'll write that in a separate entry.
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